Before I go any further, all you pervs out there, be warned this blog is not X Rated! Yes its about sex but not explicit. Still wanna hear then read on.
Once upon a time, one Thai woman wrote a book.
Now you may think, so what? And indeed, you are right, no big deal. Many Thai women write books and are quite successful at it too. But not many choose to write about sex.
The title of the book is Sex Talk and her pseudonym is Kaewmala. She even has a website Thai Sex Talk .
The author says on her site:
I simply want to talk about sex and other things related to love, romance and sexuality that concern Thai culture and people, especially Thai women.
Nothing wrong with that. This is a good thing, bring subject that have been so shaded, out in the open and let’s talk about it. After all from western eyes, Thailand is the land of sex, drugs and rock and roll.
OK, I admit that only when westerners actually live here, they will find out what the foreign media portrayed, is not the norm.
Sex in Thai consciousness has always been the realm of male enjoyment and women can share or dare to enjoy this pleasure only behind close doors and we certainly won’t be talking about it in public.
Thai women might appear to be sexually liberated but let me reiterate appearance is key. This subject has been tainted with bogus moralistic values akin to Victorian England since the first world war!
What Thai woman want sexually is not often talked about freely. Kaewmala is right in pointing out that what Thai women want is the sames as what women want worldwide , i.e the pleasure of sex but with affection and that means commitment. To most Thai women, when we commit to sexual relationship then be warned we are serious! Whatever serious means! And of course there will always be the exception top this rules but this is a minority.
Go and read this book or visit her site and let me know what you think. If you are Thai and female, do you agree with Kaewmala? If you are Thai and male and find this book unattractive then why? If you are western male and find this book offensive you should ask yourselves why? Then when you know the answers, tell me.
One farang male, Bangkok Dan and his blog, even interviewed the author, I found the blog very stimulating, the pun is quite unintentional!
This blog also attracted quite a few farang male attention and one in particular made me feel quite dazed (but not confused!) Here is a direct quote:
Certainly I’m willing to listen to how some very general Thai social values might influence a local nightlife worker’s conduct. But for a university-educated, professional (and presumably privileged) Thai woman to tell me she’s got any real insight into what goes on in a bargirl’s head … No.
This comment has saddened me and I don’t even think that the man who made this comment, was even aware or rather conscious of his implication. But the important thing about this is, it serves to confirm the need for a book like this one.
Being female, educated and westernised certainly gave the author a fresh perspective, from a view that a bar girl from Soi Cowboy would not have.
To be able to freely discuss this subject, you need to remove the element that every bar girls have, i.e. when sex becomes a profession or a mean to socially improves your status.
Why? Because what the bar girls would know best is what her clients want. This does not mean a bar girl does not have view on what she likes and dislikes about sex and relationship.
Her view, we have to admit is mixed up with her profession and that is sexual oppression to some degree. The man who made that comment has failed to realise that when bar girls talked to their clients, it ‘s just part of the bartering process. If she succeeds in making her client feels protective of her, half of her battle is won!
It amuses me to think that what stirs farang male sexual fantasies about Thai women are not what real Thai women are about! But rather a western created perception of Thai women! Kaewmala is certainly right in quoting Victorian moral values.
Feel free to disagree with me. I welcome all thoughts on this subject. The more the better so we can air our thoughts in public and have a real discussion.